Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem: What's the difference ?
- Coralie Marichez
- Aug 5
- 4 min read
We often hear people talking about self-confidence and self-esteem as if they meant the same thing. And honestly? It took me a long time to understand the difference.I kept saying I had a massive self-confidence issue… but the real problem? It was actually my self-esteem I needed to work on. And let me tell you — that’s a whole different project.
So… what’s the issue for you: self-confidence or self-esteem?
Let’s find out!
Self-confidence : Action as a driver
Self-confidence is about your skills and actions.
It’s believing that you can do something — that you know how to do it.
It’s built through experience: by taking action, stepping outside your comfort zone, trying things out, falling down, getting back up.
What does a lack of self-confidence look like ?
You procrastinate a lot
You doubt your abilities, even when you know you're capable
You don’t speak up or share your ideas
You avoid new things or risky situations
You wait for others’ validation before making a move
...
How to boost your self-confidence?
The good news is, building self-confidence is often more tangible (and quicker!) than working on self-esteem. Here’s how you can start:
Get to know yourself better
Prepare and plan before stepping out of your comfort zone
Learn new skills and grow your knowledge
Take small steps — no need to leap off cliffs
Set yourself tiny challenges to stretch your comfort zone
Celebrate your wins, even the small ones
Reframe failures and learn from them
In other words, you take small risks to prove to yourself that yes, you actually can.
Self-esteem : The value you give yourself
Self-esteem is the value you give yourself — simply for being, not doing. It’s how much you feel you deserve, no matter your results, successes, or what people say about you.
What does low self-esteem look like?
You constantly compare yourself to others
You struggle to accept compliments
You’re extremely hard on yourself
You never feel legit, even when you succeed
You feel like you always have to prove your worth
How to build healthier self-esteem?
This work tends to go deeper — it touches on old beliefs, childhood stories, emotional wounds…But it’s not impossible. You can start by:
Changing your self-talk
Letting go of perfectionism
Practicing self-acceptance
Identifying your core values, strengths, needs, and qualities
Putting yourself first
Setting boundaries (with others, and with yourself)
Learning to say no
Taking time for yourself — without guilt
Expat life: my biggest wake-up call
When I traveled solo to Spain for a week in 2017, I thought I’d never be capable of it.
And by day 4, I realized... actually? I could totally handle it.
But it was when I moved abroad for real that I truly understood the difference between self-confidence and self-esteem.
It wasn’t about lacking confidence — I could handle things.It was my self-esteem that was deeply fragile.
I went through emotional slaps, loneliness, instability, feeling uprooted... and in my hardest breakups, I found the strength to really look within.
I realized I couldn’t just do more to feel better.
I needed to reconnect to who I was, not just what I was doing.
Why coaching is such a powerful tool
(and why it’s not a magic wand either)
Coaching is a supportive, empowering space — kind but not sugar-coated.
I guide you, support you, but I also lovingly bring you back to your power to act.
I ask the kind of questions you’ve maybe never let yourself ask before.
Because my goal is to help you find your own answers.
Together, we build a plan that:
boosts your confidence day by day
helps you live your life, your way
Yes — it can be uncomfortable. But it’s also a moment just for you, to dream, to imagine, to start building a life that actually feels like yours.
What coaching has done for me (and still does)
Helped me shift from overthinking to taking action
Got me moving again
Taught me how to say no
Helped me identify my patterns
Showed me my strengths and my blind spots
Made me realize: my worth is not tied to what I achieve
And yes — I still struggle sometimes. Old reflexes come back. I’m human too. But now I have tools. I know I’m not alone. And I know that every conscious step counts. :) If I can, you can too !
In short:
Self-esteem = the value you give yourself, just by being you
Self-confidence = believing you can act and make things happen
One doesn’t replace the other. You can be super confident… and have self-esteem in the gutter
Coaching is a powerful tool to bring back clarity, action and self-love —But it won’t do the work for you. That part’s yours.
What if you took the first step today?
Pick one small challenge to tackle this week —Something that pushes you just a little outside your comfort zone, without overwhelming you. You'll see: action builds confidence, one small step at a time. Need a little help getting started?
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