Migration grief: understanding what we go through… and what returns bring up

Expatriation is often seen as an adventure, an opening, a positive transformation. Yet behind this enriching experience lies a deeper psychological process: migration grief.

In my psychotherapy practice, I support people who discover that moving abroad does not only change their daily life… but also their identity.

Expatriation and migration grief: a profound inner transformation

Migration grief refers to the emotional, psychological, and identity-related adjustments linked to leaving one’s home country to live elsewhere.

Even when it is chosen and desired, this change always involves a form of loss:

• loss of familiar reference points

• loss of cultural habits

• loss of the implicit “language” of daily life

• distance from loved ones and emotional support networks

• loss of a certain social identity

In psychotherapy, this experience is often not only external, but deeply internal. Expatriation frequently confronts people with a paradoxical state: moving forward in life while feeling emotionally destabilized.

The stages of migration grief during expatriation

Migration grief during expatriation can take different forms:

• a phase of excitement and discovery

• a phase of disillusionment or emotional fatigue

• a phase of gradual adaptation

• a phase of partial integration into the new environment

These stages are not linear. They can overlap, return, or intensify depending on life circumstances.

Some people also experience heightened emotional sensitivity or anxiety linked to cultural adaptation. In these moments, psychotherapy during expatriation can provide a space to understand what is happening beyond practical adaptation.

Returning home: a second, often overlooked grief

What is less often discussed is that returning home after expatriation can also trigger a new form of migration grief.

And sometimes, this second transition is even more destabilizing than the first.

Return migration grief: when home no longer feels the same

Contrary to what is often assumed, returning “home” does not automatically mean returning to one’s previous emotional reference points.

During expatriation, the person has changed:

• values may have shifted

• worldview may have expanded

• identity has evolved

• emotional and relational needs have transformed

But the home country itself has remained relatively stable.

This creates a gap: the return gap.

In return-expatriation psychotherapy, this experience is often described as a strange feeling of no longer fully belonging—neither to the former world nor the new one.

Comparing both forms of migration grief: leaving vs returning

The migration grief of expatriation and that of return share similarities but also important differences.

During expatriation:

• one learns to leave familiar reference points

• adaptation is progressive

• the unknown lies ahead

• there is a sense of exploration

Upon return:

• one realizes that the world feels familiar… but the self has changed

• the gap is often unexpected

• social misunderstanding can be stronger

• the sense of loss is less recognized

In other words, expatriation involves leaving a world, while return reveals that it is the self that has changed.

The role of psychotherapy in migration grief

Psychotherapy provides a space to give meaning to this often silent experience.

It helps to:

• name migration grief

• acknowledge emotions linked to expatriation and return

• understand identity transformations

• navigate emotional disorientation

• rebuild inner grounding

A psychocorporeal psychotherapy approach can also support reconnection with the body, often deeply impacted by these transitions.

Conclusion

Migration grief is not limited to leaving one’s country. It also appears upon return, sometimes in a more subtle and destabilizing way.

Expatriation transforms us. Returning confronts us with that transformation.

Understanding both movements allows us to integrate these experiences rather than minimize them, and to rebuild inner coherence within an evolving identity.

If you feel lost or are struggling with this life transition, please do not hesitate to contact me here or to book a counselling session here.